They haven't really had an in-depth talk about the kind of things that June gets up to, but Chr'tt had always known. Maybe not the extent of it, but he still knew.
The only real comfort in this is that June doesn't seem enthused about the job he's forced to do.
Still, Chr'tt is quiet for a few minutes as he mulls this information over, driving in silence until he finally decides to speak up. ]
If you could do it without taking another life would you want to? Even if it took a little longer?
[ Chr'tt has a strange sense of morality. He has indirectly caused the deaths of more people than June could possibly murder on purpose, but here he is trying to hatch some schemes to get June out of killing just a few more.
Then again, he might have a sea of blood on his hands, but that doesn't mean he ever intended to carry that weight. ]
[ what's another dead body? june's piled up his fair share that it should've lost its shine, but somehow he's still wrapped up in the dark thrill of it. killing people is a punch to the throat every time, a reminder of his own mortality, and june can't help feel the weight of each kill against the soft bones of his neck. ]
[ It's amazing how one person can find a thrill in it, and another can feel crushed by the guilt of his own actions. Chr'tt isn't the type to allow others in on his negative thoughts and feelings often, if ever, and he's certainly not about to start talking about it with June now.
This moment is a little too serious for the usual levity he tries to bring to most conversations though, so he goes with honesty. ]
I do. Most people would, but people have their reasons for the actions they take.
[ Partial honesty. That last part is a justification he doesn't really believe.
It's easier to give others more slack than it is to give yourself though. ]
It doesn't mean I won't help you out of binds like this though.
[ june takes luuk's answer as it is, refusing to interrogate it any more than he has to. it's an answer. sincere or not, it's what he's given, and june tries his best not to ask for too much because he knows his limits, he knows his faults all too well.
asking for more has always lost him the ones he's cared for the most. so he just doesn't push unless he's explicitly told he can.
everyone's regretted it, so far. he doesn't want that to happen with luuk. ]
I'll take what I can get. Thanks for helping me out.
[ Why he's against murder? Well that's an easy one he wouldn't have problems answering. Why he's still helping June out despite his reservations against killing? Loyalty, etc, etc... It wouldn't be that hard to give a satisfactory and honest answer to that one either.
But to delve deeper into his own sordid past? That's another matter. He would close up a bit there. He's made a decent life for himself on Earth, and until he's discovered and forced to take flight again he'd rather give himself a second chance.
Second chances mean not talking about the personal aspects of his past. ]
Any time.
[ And to try to lighten the mood, as much as the mood can be lightened when a very serious crime has just been committed, Chr'tt adds in-- ]
As long as the risk of being caught by the cops is less than fifty percent for me, at least.
Thank goodness math's on my side, [ june deadpans, but the effect is dampened by the smile that he makes not long after he makes the aside.
he's glad math is on his side, truly he is. it means he has someone like luuk to turn to if the numbers come out in his favor, and june is glad for it. he's all too used with having the odds stacked against him; time has proven as much to him, from the luck of his birth to his arrival to this point in his life.
june has never put much stock in luck, but he's not going to turn it away when it decides it's his turn on the wheel. ]
[ Luuk isn't really one to believe in luck, and even odds and probabilities are a bit different. Maybe it's more correct to say he doesn't believe in things like fate, good or bad luck, even if he does believe in chance.
Life is really what you make it, and in this case he's made it prioritizing the people around him for once in his shady little life.
He smiles at the comment, but the fleeting thought "I hope you can continue to be" does pass through his head, even if he doesn't voice it out loud.
Some things are better kept inside as you drive your friend away from his self-inflicted disasters. ]
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Re: for luuk pt3
They haven't really had an in-depth talk about the kind of things that June gets up to, but Chr'tt had always known. Maybe not the extent of it, but he still knew.
The only real comfort in this is that June doesn't seem enthused about the job he's forced to do.
Still, Chr'tt is quiet for a few minutes as he mulls this information over, driving in silence until he finally decides to speak up. ]
If you could do it without taking another life would you want to? Even if it took a little longer?
[ Chr'tt has a strange sense of morality. He has indirectly caused the deaths of more people than June could possibly murder on purpose, but here he is trying to hatch some schemes to get June out of killing just a few more.
Then again, he might have a sea of blood on his hands, but that doesn't mean he ever intended to carry that weight. ]
no subject
If I had a choice, why not.
[ that's the crux of the matter, really. ]
Most of the time though? I don't.
Do you think it's wrong, Luuk?
no subject
This moment is a little too serious for the usual levity he tries to bring to most conversations though, so he goes with honesty. ]
I do. Most people would, but people have their reasons for the actions they take.
[ Partial honesty. That last part is a justification he doesn't really believe.
It's easier to give others more slack than it is to give yourself though. ]
It doesn't mean I won't help you out of binds like this though.
no subject
[ june takes luuk's answer as it is, refusing to interrogate it any more than he has to. it's an answer. sincere or not, it's what he's given, and june tries his best not to ask for too much because he knows his limits, he knows his faults all too well.
asking for more has always lost him the ones he's cared for the most. so he just doesn't push unless he's explicitly told he can.
everyone's regretted it, so far. he doesn't want that to happen with luuk. ]
I'll take what I can get. Thanks for helping me out.
no subject
But to delve deeper into his own sordid past? That's another matter. He would close up a bit there. He's made a decent life for himself on Earth, and until he's discovered and forced to take flight again he'd rather give himself a second chance.
Second chances mean not talking about the personal aspects of his past. ]
Any time.
[ And to try to lighten the mood, as much as the mood can be lightened when a very serious crime has just been committed, Chr'tt adds in-- ]
As long as the risk of being caught by the cops is less than fifty percent for me, at least.
i think we can close this one?
he's glad math is on his side, truly he is. it means he has someone like luuk to turn to if the numbers come out in his favor, and june is glad for it. he's all too used with having the odds stacked against him; time has proven as much to him, from the luck of his birth to his arrival to this point in his life.
june has never put much stock in luck, but he's not going to turn it away when it decides it's his turn on the wheel. ]
Glad to have you on my side, Luuk.
SOUNDS GOOD
Life is really what you make it, and in this case he's made it prioritizing the people around him for once in his shady little life.
He smiles at the comment, but the fleeting thought "I hope you can continue to be" does pass through his head, even if he doesn't voice it out loud.
Some things are better kept inside as you drive your friend away from his self-inflicted disasters. ]